Skip to main contentCats don't love you, that is a known fact. Purring? It's a goddamn trick. They are using you for food. But few cats are as terrible as the Worst Cat in America, Oregon's own "Kleptokitty," the thieving monster cat of Gladstone that steals toys from children and also legal weed.
New York Daily News reports that Kleptokitty has a long history of taking things that don't belong to him, including underwear and a Batman action figure. But recently he brought his owner, Dave Kempas, who just happens to be a West Linn police sergeant, a little bag of weed. Said Kempas, "It was just a little bud, but it was definitely weed."
One suspects that Kempas, who set up a camera to see what his thieving criminal pet was up to at night, has been eagerly awaiting this moment. The cat has a very detailed Facebook page with a distressing 13,655 followers and a lot of pictures of Kleptokitty with a variety of types of trash.
No word yet on whether Kleptokitty's evidence was legally obtained and will be admissible in federal court. Let this be a reminder though, should a cat rub up against you during your next drug deal: cats are not your friends.
And, Officer Kempas, if you would be so kind as to show your cat this video we could be very appreciative.
Yo, cat, stop snitchin'.
WWeek 2015