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Writer, feminist icon, lesbian and witch-auntie Audre Lorde wrote in regards to her battle with cancer that “caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare.”
And at this moment, when the most cancerous aspects of our society—greed, entitlement and bigotry—are flourishing like basement mold in a decaying Northwest Craftsman, self-care may be more important now than ever.
That’s not to say we should all be spaced-out, trauma-averse scroll zombies. Quite the opposite, in fact. We should be fortifying our psyches, unlocking our empathy, getting vulnerable enough to share grief. Society is melting down, and if we’re going to make it, we’ve gotta take care of ourselves. I don’t know about you, but for me, that includes a diet rich with cannabis, sometimes in a therapeutic, whole-plant capacity, and other times via a crispy confection that evokes grade school bag lunches, bake sales, and the innocence of youth.
End of the world (as we know it) or nah, brownies, cookies, gummies and candies will always have their place in a stoner’s pantry, but for the particularly nostalgic pothead, rice crispy treats are a self-care edible nonpareil. Though easy to whip up in any home kitchen, we sampled a handful of premade crispy rice squares with varying potencies to decide which ones best complement our “end of the fuck around era, start of the find our era” stash boxes. Here are the results:
Fire Dept. Crispy Treat Bite
Fire Dept. makes a wide selection of cookies and pre-rolls, many of which have been featured in this column before, but we had yet to audition its cannabis-infused crisped rice treats. The 50 mg chocolate variety is infused with live resin, and while a tag affixed to the front of the package designated the treat was also indica infused, no specific strain was listed in the ingredients.
For folks expecting a brickish treat, be forewarned: This edible is the size of a squashed ping-pong ball, so unless your sweet tooth is teensy, don’t expect this edible to satisfy any big cravings. At 50 mg, it’s not easy to break the crisp up into sharable doses, so consider this a snack for one high-tolerance user. Expect a straightforward choco-crunchy bite (seriously, it’s like one bite) with a chemical smack from an added extract rather than the grassy musk of infused butter.
BUY: Happy Leaf, 1301 NE Broadway, 971-800-0420, happyleafportland.com.
Better Edibles CannaCrispy
These edibles are a bit truer to the traditional Rice Krispies Treat. Better Edibles’ product is a single mini-brick in a uniform 2-by-1-inch size with either 50 mg or 100 mg of THC. Snacking on the 50 mg variety immediately made me ravenous for more marshmallow goodness. There is a less potent cannabis aftertaste since CannaCrispys are made with cannabis extract rather than infused butter. The treats are available in three flavors: chocolate, fruity and original. The variety is great, but I only wish the squares were three or four times bigger.
BUY: Gram Central Station, 6430 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd., 503-284-6714.
Mellow Vibes Crispy Treats
Mellow Vibes, originators of the popular infused potcorn that’s infiltrated dispo shelves statewide, is also producing rice crispy squares similar in size and heft to Better Edibles’. These treats are medicated with distillate, and available in double-chocolate and mixed-fruit varieties. The 50 mg dose makes them relatively easy for two to share, but like the other crispy treats, they seem to be manufactured for a single user.
I certainly missed the grassy, buttery finish of a homemade cannabis crispy rice treat, but the chocolate and fruity flavors stood out despite a lingering distillate aftertaste. For users who relish the mouthfeel of distillate, make some room in your stash box for these Mellow Vibes.
BUY: The Dispensary on 52nd, 4452 SE 52nd Ave., 503-420-8000, thedispensaryon52nd.com.