Secret Pizza Society Is Making Some of Portland’s Best Vegan Pies—and a Crazy-Good Pizza-Gyro Hybrid Called the Pyro

Don’t think of it as “health food." These are the ultimate munchies for the vegan stoner.

The Pyro. IMAGE: Courtesy of Great Secret Motion Pizza.
By Jordan Michelman

We're living in the golden age of Portland pizza.

Never before has this city's love of the pie been so well-served, from deep-dish to grandma slices to Detroit style, from New Haven to New York to Napolitano and all points in between.

But is there such a thing as "Portland-style" pizza?

There might not be any single "correct" answer to this question. But for Secret Pizza Society, a line in the sand has been drawn.

At this small shop—referred to on its enigmatic website as "the Great and Secret Motion Pizza"—the motto is "Vegan Pizzas That Don't Suck." Here, the pizzas are served only as 10-inch, personal-style pies, and made entirely with organic ingredients. Don't think of it as "health food," though—these are the ultimate munchies for the vegan stoner.

The space itself is charmingly minimal, in a kind of "house show collective living" sort of way—the pizzeria shares kitchen space with Shoofly Vegan Bakery—with about 10 seats total. This is where you'll find some of the city's dankest, most crave-worthy vegan pizzas, like the Chalupa Batman ($12), a mashup of Papa G's taco tofu with vegan chipotle crema, fresh tomatoes and cilantro. The pizza is tiny—you can eat an entire one yourself, from the garlicky outer crust to the savory umami inner slice. It is a glorious little vegan pizza. But it's not the best thing on the menu.

That would be the Pyro, a necronomic combo of  pizza and gyro. It is a totally unique offering in the growing Portland pizzascape—essentially an entire pizza, folded in half and filled with toppings of your choice, alongside soy curls, greens and a tangy-sweet house sauce somewhere between balsamic gastrique and Mae Ploy sweet chili. It comfortably feeds two people, but it's really meant for personal consumption.

Let's say you were vegan, nicely stoned and wanted to enjoy some Netflix—maybe you're revisiting The Sopranos, say. In this scenario, order the El Egante variant of the Pyro, with garlic and cashew chevre, for your own personal enjoyment. Consume it over the course of a few episodes, maybe with a seltzer or a nice glass of Italian wine.

This is bliss, and should be kept from no friend of the slice. Let the Secret Pizza Society be secret no longer.

EAT: Secret Pizza Society, 7201 NE Glisan St., 503-946-1926, thegsmp.com. 4-11 pm Wednesday-Saturday.

Willamette Week’s reporting has concrete impacts that change laws, force action from civic leaders, and drive compromised politicians from public office. Support WW's journalism today.