Burger Madness: Top Classic Burger in Portland Revealed

The winner of the Classic Burger bracket in Burger Madness.

Stoopid Burger (Thomas Teal)
By Sophia June

Burger Madness is a seeded tournament pitting 64 Portland patties against each other. Our critics ate through the best Bistro Burgers, Bar Burgers, and Brewery Burgers and Burger Burgers  in Portland—and will reveal their picks round by round until the best burger in Portland is crowned.

Here are all the Burger Madness Round of 64 Results, the Round of 32 Results, and the Sweet Sixteen. 

Here's the winner among all the classic burgers in Portland, which will go on to the Final Four. 

Stoopid Burger (4) vs. Gastromania (14)

Stoopid Burger

3441 N Vancouver Ave., 971-801-4180, stoopidburgerpdx.com. 11 am-9 pm Monday-Friday, noon-9 pm Saturday.

There's nothing as stupidly good as the Stoopid Burger ($11.75), which comes with salty, hot fries served in a paper bag. It's got beef, bacon, ham, a hot link, and egg, cheddar cheese, lettuce, tomato, onion and pickles, for God's sake. If you want more, you always will. Although you'll be unable to get everything in your mouth for the first few bites—it's served basically like a taco, it's so full—every bite stands on its own as a thing of wonder.

Gastro Mania

1986 NW Pettygrove St., 503-689-3794, gastromaniapdx.com. 11 am-8 pm Monday-Saturday.

When its old food-cart pod was snatched up by developers, Bulgarian chef Alex Nenchev moved his food to a brick-and-mortar in Slabtown. WW called it the very best spot in the neighborhood to get lunch and called the foie gras burger "a thing of ridiculous luxury." The price back then was under $10, but $13 with salad still feels cheap. It's got the perfect amount of moisture and savor, with a generous portion of foie gras from Canada geese. And for now, it may be the only foie gras burger in town: St. Jack's formerly foie'd burger now comes with bacon.

WINNER: Stoopid Burger. The foie gras is amazing, but the Stoopid Burger literally towers over the Gastro Burger, dripping with all the fats of a surprising concatenation of meats while still remaining well-balanced even with its unbelievable array of toppings. The Stoopid Burger is the best classic burger in Portland.

Here's the path to the Final Four:

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