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Every year, thanks to Seinfeld, countless people believe this will be their personal "Summer of George." While George Costanza only had himself to blame for not conquering the season, the coronavirus is letting you off the hook this year. But while the lockdown might put a serious damper on your attempts at achieving frolfing supremacy, I'm here to bring you the next best thing: glib commentary on the 2019 Disc Golf World Championship, courtesy of YouTube.
0:00—We start on the back nine of the final round following the top four golfers: Paul McBeth, Ricky Wysocki, James Conrad and Emerson Keith. In my extensive research, I learned there is a difference between frolf, or "Frisbee golf," and disc golf, which is mainly that you can make money playing the latter. Secure the bag, boys.
2:42—James Conrad is probably a nice guy, but his first putt gives him the look of a pervert in the woods: lots of squatting, bending and deep concentration from behind a bush. The long ponytail probably doesn't help.
4:30—This is a park in Peoria, Ill., in August. I've had Midwestern family barbecues in places like this: muggy and full of dead grass. I guarantee a Slip 'N Slide has been torn to shreds out there.
6:47—Any sport that has a suburban water tower as part of its course is a sport I must respect.
15:20—After a sick throw by Paul McBeth, what sounds like a Muppet in the crowd can be hard saying, "Damn!"
18:42—Hole 15 features a pair of sweet-looking portable toilets just behind the hole. Disc golf is the true gentleman's game.
25:06—Emerson's near-splits really shows how sexy disc golf can be, folks.
33:01—With a little late drama, Paul McBeth emerges as the PDGA World Champion. The wife is crying, and I learn you can win money even if you get 89th place. 2019 truly was the Summer of Paul. JAKE